Monday Musings

It will be six months in another week since my lymphoma diagnosis and while my emotions and health have been all over the place, there have been moments of happy clarity. After being told one too many times that if I don’t do this or that I’ll die, I’ve discovered that I’m not one of those people with a bucket list, mission or regrets and that my main wish is to feel good enough to live my current life and spend time with those I love. There is no more living in the past or future, but savoring what I can from the day, even if that’s just the excitement that I felt good enough to mow the lawn yesterday. As someone who has spent the majority of my life complaining about bad hair days, I’ve been amazed to discover that having a bald head from my earlier chemo has never given me a bad hair day. Harper may not agree about bad hair days, I think she’s scowling in that photo over her recent visit to the groomer. I have no explanation for my reaction to my lack of hair other than when I was losing it I was too weak to care, but I can tell you I love how much quicker I get ready in the morning. For some reason I’m no longer an early riser or someone who wants to multitask all day. Some days I’m surprised I didn’t get on my own nerves daily from all the lists and multitasking. One other thing that I’m absolutely clear about is that I’m definitely missing celebrating Cinco de Mayo today with a Margarita at my favorite Mexican restaurant, but I will be celebrating with a jumbo Margarita the day they tell me I’m in remission.

29 responses to “Monday Musings”

  1. I look forward to hearing about you having that margarita! And Harper is a wee cutie!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!!πŸΎπŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are absolutely right – Life is here and now, and we need to enjoy every single moment of it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. With experiencing so many emotions this last six months I’ve been surprised by many, especially a peacefulness that allows me to enjoy the here and now after finally letting go of so many things distracting me from that over the years.πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Such wonderful reflections. Hopefully that celebratory Margarita isn’t too far ahead 🍸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and I’m really looking forward to hearing the word remission and that celebratory Margarita!!πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this post, S! Truth with a capital T, you’ve arrived at the place where you’ve come through a jungle and have seen your way out. The Zen way you’ve found by coming to the fork in the road. A helluva way to go, but you deserve more than a pat on the back, and one day you’ll be celebrating your release and renewal. Hurrah! πŸ‘πŸΌ πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, your words of encouragement have helped tremendously!! I worked very hard over the years hoping I was heading in the Zen direction, but definitely know the difference after this six months. When my doctor told me a few months ago that I now have to live day to day, it changed everything. I return to chemo tomorrow, so I know my days of not feeling good will be returning for a few weeks and it has been very surprising and amazing to feel this good mentally and physically during a cancer diagnosis.πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Life can surprise us in oh so many ways. You continue to be in my thoughts and good wishes. πŸ’–πŸ™πŸΌ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you!! Found out a little while ago that my chemo is delayed for another week, so I will be celebrating another week of feeling good!!πŸ’–πŸ™

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Enjoy the reprieve! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Harper looks pretty fierce there – squirrels beware…
    I’ll raise a glass when that day comes (and a full head of hair is overrated anyway)
    Enjoy your week – we have a sunny Monday here, a pleasant surprise!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!πŸ™‚ I’m still trying to find the perfect hat for each season, but love my wonderful hat collection so far. We have a great week of weather arriving to go along with the great hockey playoffs!! Enjoy the week!πŸ™‚

      Like

  6. I felt the same way when I was diagnosed with breast cancer 15 years ago. There was no bucket list. I just wanted to live my everyday life, which seemed especially precious. I have read that other cancer patients feel way we do. Just think of how much better the world might be if more people came to cherish everyday life and the ones they love. Here’s to the next six months when you will be in remission and you will be able to raise a glass in celebration.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your comment!! As an introvert, I have not been interested in joining a support group, but it has helped tremendously to read memoirs and hear from survivors. There are so many daily responses and it’s so helpful to know that others had similar emotions and reactions. Thank you for the lovely iris and a cheers will definitely be sent your way during that first Margarita!!πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I, too, am an introvert, albeit a friendly one, and I also was not interested in joining a support group. But, yes, it is helpful to hear from survivors, both near and far, and learn that others had similar responses. The cancer-survivors club is a big one. Good that so many are making it, but too bad that cancer is so prevalent.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I hope that enormous Margarita is in the very near future! 😊!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and I’m looking forward to that jumbo Margarita!!πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I hope you will be celebrating with a jumbo Margarita very soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too and I might have to go to my favorite Margarita restaurant twice that week!!😁

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you for this post. So often we forget what is important and what is not. I hope you will have that day with a jumbo Margarita soon.
    Hugs,
    Kristiina

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and I’m definitely looking forward to that jumbo Margarita!!πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I like your attitudeβ€”it’s healthy. I have multiple cancers and enjoy each day that I have been given.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the comment, hope and inspiration!πŸ™‚

      Like

  11. Cheering you on as you find delight in little every day pleasures!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Treasure every day. You have a lot of supporters out there. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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